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Chapter B
“Isn’t that trippy???” Seth whisper-squealed. The first day of high school, and the first person I meet is a sweaty Star Wars geek with a penchant for philosophy and all other things he deems “trippy”. Great. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Star Wars, but “Are you into Star Wars?” does not generally come out of my mouth within the first 30 seconds of meeting somebody. Not so with Seth. I had imagined I would watch the other kids filter in one by one, gradually filling the space in an even disbursement like gas molecules. Instead, they came in fits and spurts. First, strangely, were the popular girls, but I suppose they wanted to get there early enough to guarantee they could all sit together. Next were the football guys, who surrounded the pink and black clad Pops like a watermelon rind. The Pops barely noticed, all furiously texting the Pops in the other freshman home-room classes, coordinating where to meet up after first period to hug and cheek-kiss and scoff. The seemingly nice, smarter kids did trickle in one or two at a time, filling in the front rows considering they weren’t wanted in the back. Basically the entire room filled in except for the void of five desks arcing around me. Until Seth. Seth wasn’t wanted by the nice, normal kids, and would not even consider talking to one of the Pops or their boy-toys. So Seth plopped himself down directly to my left. “Hi! What’s up!” he eagerly greeted me while catching his breath. I nodded back at him. “Hi.” “I’m Seth! What’s your name?” Fuck this contrived conversation was getting old already. “Matt,” I said. And on he went into Star Wars, how excited he was for the most recent sequel or prequel or whatever it was. I stopped caring at Jar Jar Binks. About Star Wars, that is, not about what Seth was rambling about. He managed to avoid any Jar Jar references in those first couple of minutes. Mee-sah so sad Disney buy-a Star Wars! I feel like a total ass…I’m the new kid in town and already I’m acting “too cool for school,” not even listening to what this poor fat bastard is saying. Who am I to judge this guy in the first 30 seconds? Then he hands me his phone, the white text glowering at me. Hypnotized isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind. “So, whaddaya think???” For a brief moment, I can’t think at all. I mean, thoughts shoot through my head at a mile a minute, but I’m 100% not in control of them. What if it’s real? “It’s bullshit,” I say. “Whaddayou mean it’s bullshit? How the fuck would you know?” “Look, dude, this is my first day here. I mean, it all of our first days here, but I just moved here, I don’t know my way around, and I don’t know a goddamn soul. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and having some existential crisis based on some minimalist internet meme doesn’t exactly make my list of priorities today. Okay?” “You’re kind of a dick, huh?” “It seems that way.” “Ba-, Ba-, Baroney? Matt Baroney?” the teacher called. “Here,” I said, “but it’s Barone. Pronounced Ba-r''own”. “What does she think this is, the oriental deli?” I snarked to Seth, trying to back pedal. He stared back at me blankly. ---- The rest of the morning, I couldn’t get it out of my head. “PLEASE WAKE UP.” I knew I was being stupid. I mean, of course I was being stupid. It was just some stupid internet thing. It was stupid. ''I was stupid. But what if it wasn’t? Through the next three periods – which were some combination of math, English, and I don’t know what – all I could think about was being in a coma. Lying quietly, surrounded by empty hospital room and the faint beeping of my pulse. How old was I? I had to be older than 20, if I was in a coma for twenty years. Last I checked you don’t punch your way out of your mother’s womb in a coma. NO. WTF, no. I am not in a coma. I am trying to survive my first day of high school, and this bullshit meme has made me not even pay attention to any of my classmates/would-be friends now for hours. Someone had to see me staring at my phone, poring over each word again and again. What do they think of me? Am I already this freak with no hope of socialization? Or were they too caught up in their own shit to notice? Speaking of shit, I’m headed toward the cafeteria. We’re supposed to sit down first, then we’ll be released to go to the lunch line by table. Not wanting to make the same mistake twice, I get there late enough for the tables to be mostly populated. Except for one – there Seth was, sitting alone, playing what appeared to be some MMORPG on his laptop. God, who still has a laptop? I’d made a banner first impression, and he wasn’t exactly my first choice of friends, but he was literally the only person whose name I knew in the whole school. Closer by was a semi-empty table that had a few guys and a few girls who all looked pretty normal. A) In keeping with my newfound aloof dick persona, I pretend not to notice Seth – who notices me not noticing him – and steer to the nearby table. “Can I sit here?” I meekly ask everyone and no one. B) “Fuck it,” I say under my breath. Seth may be a dork, but so far he’s all I've got. 'Author' This Chapter was originally authored by Matt Bruno on February 26, 2015. 'Choice History' B) Not wanting to move any farther into the room than he absolutely had to, he grabbed the seat second from the back on the right edge of the desks.